I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
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