I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
