Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
It's shark week go big or go home
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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