I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
