She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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