dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
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