jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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