my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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