Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
