What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
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I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success