Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
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At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Shitshow foam night was such a success
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off