She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!