get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize