did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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