He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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