I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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