hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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