He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize