Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
