the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize