good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
So gin and wine won't be happening again
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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