She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
