Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
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found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
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I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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