Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
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I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
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The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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