i think i have herpe
just one?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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