Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
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Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
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