can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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