How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
