dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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