just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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