you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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