You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
