Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Randomize
