Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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