it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
