Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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