Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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