It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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