Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
