I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize