i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
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