whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
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