no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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