Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
