Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
