I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
