handjob tips. give me some.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
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He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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