So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Randomize
