Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
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