I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
