so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
