hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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