I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
