don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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