we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize