he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
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