ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
