Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
