Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
